Spotlight on Jonathan McCoy: Committed to Eliminating the 'N' Word'

C3 Greensboro

Sunday, August 16, 2009 from C3 Greensboro on Vimeo.

A Message From : Frank Mc Court

THANK YOU

By all account, my High School years could have been run of the mill at best, if not for the Music and Drama Department. I was an “under the radar” student was not a honors and was not a slacker. I went to class most days and did as much as I needed to do to earn a 2.7 grade point average. I was on the school newspaper and tennis team all four years, but that was mainly just something to do. I got my chance and I found my passion in the choir and school musical. This was significant because through the performance arts, I was able to come out of the shadows. So how significant was this. Three words, Jim, Sam and Pete. These three amigos, took the time to get me to try new things, work hard and tried to get me to lighten up. Two out of three is not bad. Thanks

Until later

Nothing Personal

“The art of being in human is to tell them what you feel.” By Bill Brown fall 1988. Not much has changed in 21 years for me; i still believe that true effective communications comes when people have the courage to tell others what they really feel and risk being perceived inhuman. Nothing personal, just a battle of ideas. And believe me when i say battle. You don’t have to look to hard to find it. Ask a teenager i remember once being told not to discuss these topics in mixed couple, religion, race and politics. Tonight the context of the battle i will discuss them all. To give you a quick look into how i think so you can understand what i think. -F. Scott Fitzgerald once said "the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." when i say inhuman i mean not caring or being insensitive to others ideas. I will admit, sometimes i can careless about what some people think, but i always try to acknowledge their right to have an idea. And why did i say tell them what you feel instead of what you think, i believe that “out of your heart you speak.” And there is the battle.

So where do i begin? Religion, race or politics, lets go with the most obvious race. I don’t know if you are aware of this but i am black. How do i feel about being black or better yet how do i feel about other races. In the united states being black has meant so many things. We have gone from niggers to coloreds to african-americans. Me what do i feel about race….. I don’t know. I know some people use the color of peoples’ skin to justify hatred ,violence and even murder. I acknowledge the conception and the need for the civil rights movement and affirmative action, but i don’t feel they’re the best answer for our country. Follow me. Slave trade wrong, 1/5 of a person wrong, terrorizing people because you fear they would seek revenge for past victimizations wrong, and making laws that make others affirm acceptation or give special treatment to a group of people. Is not all right maybe half right but not all right. I believe human right trump civil rights, you can’t have civil rights if you don’t recognize someone’s human rights. Yet in the political world everything is ass backwards.

TO BE CONTINUED

TRUE HOSPITALITY

EVERY GOOD RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO OR MORE PEOPLE, WHETHER IT IS FRIENDSHIP, MARRIAGE, OR COMMUNITY, CREATES SPACE WHERE STRANGERS CAN ENTER AND BECOME FRIENDS. GOOD RELATIONSHIPS ARE HOSPITABLE. WHEN WE ENTER INTO A HOME AND FEEL WARMLY WELCOMED, WE WILL SOON REALISE THAT THE LOVE AMONG THOSE WHO LIVE IN THAT HOME IS WHAT MAKES THAT WELCOME POSSIBLE.

WHEN THERE IS CONFLICT IN THE HOME, THE GUEST IS SOON FORCED TO CHOOSE SIDES. "ARE YOU FOR HIM OR FOR HER?" "DO YOU AGREE WITH THEM OR WITH US?" "DO YOU LIKE HIM MORE THAN YOU DO ME?" THESE QUESTIONS PREVENT TRUE HOSPITALITY - THAT IS, AN OPPORTUNITY FOR THE STRANGER TO FEEL SAFE AND DISCOVER HIS OR HER OWN GIFTS. HOSPITALITY IS MORE THAN AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE FOR THE GUEST. IT IS ALSO AND FOREMOST AN EXPRESSION OF LOVE BETWEEN THE HOSTS.

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” by Marianne Williamson

Message From GI JOE

“Not on My Watch”

Leadership Development is a big part of me. I find this interesting because of a belief I have.

Billism on Leadership Training – “Leadership Training is an oxymoron, You are a leader or You are not” You can be trained to manage people or stuff. But Leaders are not made they are developed.
There are a number of Leadership styles they teach you, but the one that is practiced by many managers and leaders (and formally yours truly) Is the “Not on My Watch” Styles. I believe, this is the trap of the leader who “cares” or takes their role seriously. If you take over a good or bad situation, the leader can be driven by “Not on My Watch , will this place fail.” What happens when a leader takes on this mentality. They will not listen to people and the end result justifies the means. Natural allies will become enemies, and the leader has extremes throughout their organization. Some people love him/her and some hate him/her and the people on the fence are forced to take sides.
I believe any big changes have to happen in the beginning and that will change the culture of the organization, after that any changes are small and they come from others on the staff not the leader. I learned this the hard way (twice, hindsight is 20/20) I will share one of them with you now
I was elected (or selected) as President of a local Toastmasters Club, the second oldest in the state of NC and I was the First African American to hold that post (no pressure) The club was failing, big time. Low membership, was not attracting new members and very few members where coming to the weekly meetings. I was honored to lead them and needed everyone’s help , but I quickly felt the pressure to turn things around. I would make suggestions, that would be shot down, and I would ask for suggestions and would not get any. Not one, a member said to me, “If we had the answers we would not be failing.” Really. I had to do something, “I am the President”. So the “Not on My Watch , will this place fail.” Kicked in with that was “If you want something done, you do it yourself.” (Not good in any situation, but in a volunteer situation, people we let you do it all) I stated making edicts, “We are doing this, Your new role is that.” To be kind, let’s just say It did not go well. Members in name only started showing up voicing their concerns. There were emergency meetings, about me. And the weekly meeting was the place to be. From 4 members to 13. (to myself I would say Great attendance was up) Most of the times they were mad at me, but they were engaged, which was good. Now everyone had suggestions (Great) I got to see that the members had become indifferent, and I forced them to take sides.
I believe the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. (I learned this at St Vincent/Seton Hill College,. I will tell you later) I am proud to say the Club is now thriving, but it had taken around four years to mend relationships there. Goal accomplished. “Not on My Watch.” But at what cost.
This is what I have finally learned, that I will now share with you

Here are 10 sign of “Not on My Watch.” leadership style.

1. This leader come takes power in a difficult time, almost do or die situation
2. This leader is first seen as a breath of fresh air. Expectations are high.
3. This leader has to make big changes fast. Too fast for people to understand.
4. This leader has a communication vacuum, where rumors are the norm.
5. This leader tries to control the communication and creates enemies. An Us vs Them environment.
6. This leader is perceived as a poor listener or a “my way or the highway” leader. They truth is they are listening too everything, but driven not to make any mistakes.
7. This leader will bring people in that they trust, without input from others.
8. This leader will spend most of their time defending themselves and not leading.
9. This leader will have a love hate relationship with most of their staff.
10. This leader is a loner or seen as aloof.

Now the Solutions are not that easy, they are worked out one leader and one organization at a time.

Until later

What I Really Think of FACEBOOK (from the perspective of an introvert)

I believe everything happens for a reason, and I also believe some relationships are supposed to end. Facebook prolongs relationships that need to fade away into a distant memory. Gone are the days of wondering “whatever happened to …..?” You can just check Facebook, one of your friends has seen their profile and has seen their photos, so you know everything you need to know, because all you really want is gossip straight from the source. What do I mean by gossip? I will use myself as an example (I really feel bad about this so forgive me) There was a High School friend I was wondering what happened to and actively looking for, maybe three years off and on. One day I was on Facebook and he just popped up, Facebook suggested him as a friend. One click and we were friends again. The next day he wrote on my wall, I wrote on his, check out his info and his photos and we have not spoke or wrote on each others wall for two years (My mistake Facebook reminded us of our Birthday, so we gave Birthday wishes) Is it me or is that horrible. Did I want to reconnect with a great High school friend? or Did I just want to see how life had treated him. Facebook provides “idle posts about personal or private affairs” Provided to use from the horse’s mouth. (I did not just call all my 210 Facebook friends horses) But by logging in to my Facebook account I have a false sense that I know my friends, and I can rate them, comment on what they are doing or challenge them to a quiz. Don’t get me wrong there are a number of great things about Facebook and the friends I get to talk to and see a part of their life that I would not get a chance to. But as an introvert some days it is all overwhelming.
A couple of years ago one of my Facebook friends sent out a post to all her “friends” (more than 2,000) that she was leaving Facebook, because, in her words “Facebook is consuming my life.” At the time I thought, Really? Consuming your life? Just stop logging in everyday. Now, I understand, it is not consuming my life, but it sometimes seems to be calling me from my life.
Until Later

"The Evolution Of Bill"

Why John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt? I am not ready sure, but I remember learning this song one year at summer camp and thinking. “I want to be him.” Mainly because I was not him, cool, popular and he had a song. (Cut me some slack I was 8.) I think the names we answer to or go by has an effect on how you relate to others. Let’s look at the evolution of Bill.
On July 20, 1967 I was given the name William Joseph Brown, my earliest nickname I can remember answering to was “Little Peanut “ given to me by my grandmother because I was so small and looked like my father .(She named him Peanut too) When I was Peanut, all I did was be cute and smiled a lot. Grandmother was the only one I enjoyed calling me Peanut. She passed away last year so Peanut is no more. Next I answered to “Willie” this name also was my father’s . This is what I would call my family and the neighborhood name(If I am somewhere mainly Pittsburgh, and someone is calling, than yelling Willie with disgust, I know they are calling for me and is a family member or from the neighborhood) When I was Willie, I was still cute but I was also quiet, did not know what to say and did not think anyone wanted to hear from me.

In six grade I asked people to call me William, thought I was getting older and I did not like how people called me Willie. You know how someone could seem to say all the right things, but it still feels like they are making fun of you or cursing you. That is how being called Willie felt (and still feels sometime) William did not stick, too many people just called me Will, so I made an announcement. “My Name Is Now Bill.” Finding my voice, not so cute anymore, if you did not call me Bill I would not answer you, really. I would not flinch, Got a reputation for being an a hole, that I wore as a badge of honor. At the time it worked for me, I changed my name. Here is the ironic thing about this, I pick Bill to be “popular” Everybody knows Bill Brown, but because of the way I made the change I isolated myself, not lonely. A sort of self isolation to do things on my terms. That brings us back to doe. I am an observer. Now trying to be a participator.

I have been working on a book project for a number of years now call "Boxed In And Labeled” that explores why people label us, how we label ourselves, and how to fight those labels. This project started of as a memoir, than I thought, “Who do you think you are to write a memoir”. So I stopped writing. Than I thought I would write a One Act Play. Yeah great, I could not decide on the main character, so I stopped writing. My next plan is to write the intro to a series of books that solicit stories from people all over the world. A sort of Chicken Soup for the Soul concept. That’s big, so big I am again stumped. The more I think about it the bigger it gets and the bigger it gets the more I am afraid to share it with anyone. But I guess I just did.
Soon I will be asking for your stories.
Until later,

Blogging.? Me?

I have been going back and forth about doing this blog. How does one start a blog? Do I start by giving a little background on myself? or just explain the Why I am doing this. So let’s just do it,(as one sports company would say)

I am an observer of human experiences, why and what people do fascinate me, however sometimes I find myself shut out of any interaction. The fly in the room as you will, that may cause some annoyance, or not be noticed or a challenge to eliminate. This blog is more about what I see and how it shapes what I think. The main reason this blog is hard for me, is because I have operated from this basic PRINCIPLE. (I came up with this in my college Creative Writing class.) The Art of being Inhuman – “Tell people what you think.” I learned at an early age that if you say what you really think people would judge you. You are excused for repeating what your parents think, or for what your friends think and as an actor (back in the day) what the playwrights write. But when it is what you think, you are on the hook. You have to answer for it. So, I learned to “zip it”. LESSON LEARNED, “If you don’t speak for yourself, someone else will speak for you.” They will not ask you, they will just do it. (for your benefit, they say.) and it may be, but it is still not you.

So this blog is me, I announced to my Facebook friends to “Expect the unexpected” with this blog, mainly because I have NO idea what most of my friends, Facebook or otherwise expect from me. DISCLAIMER #1 (My disclaimers are typically followed by a short blunt statement that you will get immediately or take offence immediately or just dismiss as a rant) – I sometimes think my friends would not be surprised if they hear something outrageous like; “Did you hear Bill is gay.” or “I heard that Bill was a bigamous.” or I heard Bill was on drugs. I think this not as a judgment of you but as a statement that when we don’t really know someone, we will fill in the blanks. From my stand point my life is an open book, however when a book is opened the reader only sees the pages visible to see. Through relationship, you get permission to see the other pages.

I believe humanity is one big ball of inconsistencies. There are a number of examples of this. Here is one that has stuck with me for a while. A number of years ago there was a news story of a “lifetime criminal “(their term)that saved a person from a burning building, how the anchors were amazed that this person would take the time to save someone surprised me more than his actions. I believe we are not our labels (will explain in later blogs) We all have the potential to do extraordinary things and also things that would make our mothers cry (which to me is the worst)

So here we go, Me, Blogging. Here are some things I plan to blog about, my life stories, my faith, my feeling on leaders and some random stuff. I will also take requests, if there is something you want to know about me I will blog about it or I will tell you why I will not blog about it. I also think most of the times we don’t tell things because we want to protect others, because we feel that they can’t handle it, (that may be true) but I think unspoken truth will destroy you. . DISCLAIMER #2 When we don’t process, what we feel out loud to each other, we will become self-destructive or seek out ways to destroy others. As Socrates is quoted to have said “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Examining is not judging. So now you are a fly in the room.

(What Truth do I mean – your truth, we all have experiences that shape our truth. That same experience may be viewed differently by another person and that becomes their truth.)

BILLISMS: Personal and Professional

“The grass may be greener, but it still needs to be mowed.”

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. However if you hold their head underwater for a while, something will happen"

“Good guys eventually wins.”

“You don’t hire disgruntle employees, you make them.”

More to come

BTW the name of this blog will be explained in my next blog, here is a video for your enjoyment.

"John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt"